WHY IT IS ABSOLUTELY OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY

TIAMIYU Hikmah

We’ve been at that phase where everything seems complicated and confusing. A super power was all we silently wished for because maybe at some point we believed it was all we really did need to turn the wheel of events into what we regard to as favorable and comforting. We seek validations for our actions not because they aren’t validated but hearing it from other people even those with the wrong sense of judgment makes it look good irrespectively. That’s the power of having to see someone care, then the aura of ‘I am doing well’ starts oozing.

Self-esteem is similar to self-worth but self-worth reiterates how valuable and love-worthy we are as humans. Here are signs of having a weak self-esteem;
Satisfying people
 Irritation and anger easily felt.
 Other opinions matter than yours
 Doubt in every decision you make
 Struggle with confidence
 Lack of boundaries
 Frequent feel of fear, anxiety or depression
 Comparison with others which often times leaves you inferior.
 Self-doubt in one’s abilities or chances of success
 Rush of worthlessness, guilt and lack of resilience.

According to Dove Self-Esteem Fund 2008, it was said that 7 out of 10 youths believe they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way. Yes, this rate seems pretty high, right? It’s really saddening but the good part is how intentional though difficult steps can be made towards feeling emotionally stable and safe. The first major step towards this growth is exploring one’s self; this involves knowing one’s self and being at peace with who and what you cannot be. That little negative thought of not being enough is way more powerful than you might think. Learn to speak affirmative and comforting words to yourself, this might seem hard and unreasonable at first but one good thing is that when often used, it becomes the default reaction to any situation seems pressurizing. Being who we are comes with some life satisfaction that transcends beyond being confident but also the peace felt.

We all want to be a better version of ourselves. The process might seem tiring and frustrating that one might just resort to giving up which is totally okay to feel this way. One needs to keep those tabs and read those books, yes start now, start small. Do not pressure yourself; all you need is just you starting small and consistent. Celebrate your small wins, might not be really big but appreciate yourself which in the local parlance connotes “relass and take kiaruff yourself”. Just so you reading this, know you are not alone and most importantly remember that it is absolutely okay not to feel okay. Accept it! Own it! Start small

hikmahtiamiyu@gmail.com

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